My dad was complaining about buying me books yesterday and I said “well at least it’s books” and then the cashier goes “yeah it could be drugs”
I've never been shy or secretive with the fact that if you walk into my life, you may be walking onto a record.
My dogs look like they’re taking a prom pic
Guys will never understand the joy of having your period a week before you travel.
o yea the 90s. the 90s were great. fuckin sick. raw as hell. learning how to speak. crying for no reason. shitting in my diaper
I think relationships in general are over romanticized like at the end of the day I’m pretty sure a good relationship is just two people who know how to hang out and talk to each other not whether or not they can right all your wrongs or paint a picture of a thousand suns with the breath from your lungs or some shit
My dad just saw my report card and started yelling at me because there was an F on it, but it actually was F for female as in gender
"How Can I Tell This Customer To Fuck Off Without Getting Fired" - an anthology by retail workers worldwide
my mom meant to post a picture of her dog and posted a picture of a turkey instead